IT FEELS GOOD TO BE IN MY SKIN!

I say that because no matter what the situation, the bump, crossroads, or hot mess I happen into or upon. I still rise up! I rise and I come up bigger and better then before. I overcome adversity.

I was just briefly chatting it up with a close friend of mine. She asked me a "what if" question that I responded "no" to. Then she used herself as an example, I responded, oh yeah I would tell you. She asked if "it depends on who the friend is" I said "yes" but the fact of the matter is I would only tell her. I would not involve myself in anyone else’s stuff.

I only began hanging with females after dropping the whole female friendship thing when I separated from my ex. I had female "associates" and we hung out every now and again. But a regular that was my home girl type friend uh no not since I was eighteen.


When I turned thirty-two I gave the whole girl friendship another shot. I'll tell you honestly that nothing had changed over the years with women and it would appear that they were more catty then ever before. Right in your face would be a shiny toothy smile and two seconds later they are chatting it up to the first person that would listen about "how horrible I looked in an outfit". I can do without the facade of female bonding. I'm not saying there aren't any true friendships or bonding experiences between women. Absolutely there are, however few and far between those friendships come into your life if at all. I am now experiencing for the first time in my life a sincere female bonding experience. I am so loving and enjoying it.

I am enjoying my own company also. This particular close friend lives in another state. We communicate everyday. She knows everything about me things I didn't even have to think about not telling her. She knows too much if you ask me. But the relationship is equally yoked in that sense. We are comfortable with Q&A because it's really asking because we generally are concerned about one another's well being.

I feel good, I am at peace. I can look in the mirror with knowing and appreciate the genuine goodness that exudes from within my heart. I feel good in my skin. Life is good.

Shout out to nutta butta!

EXUDE HAPPINESS

I woke up this morning and tried to keep my promise to myself that I would begin my excercise routine. I dragged and slugged out of bed at the 6am hour. I woke up at 5:00 with the intent of getting an early start I instead rolled over and covered my head.

I'm not heavy or anything I love a toned body. Once proud of my toned body however lately I can't seem to commit. I did manage to get out of the bed at 6am instead. I set up for my pilates 20minute workout. I will increase my workout regiman as the days pass. I'm determined to conquer this laziness I've had for the last two years. I am preparing for the 5 boro bike-a-thon in 41 days. I have to work out the kinks in the old bones. I can and will make this ride and hopefully won't be in too much pain when it's all said and done.

I'm certain I will feel good about the accomplishment. I completed this ride over two years ago and each time I drive over the Verrazano Bridge I am in complete awe of myself. I have bragging rights also..I rode over this bridge on a bike which is not an easy task!! The bridge to the regular eye looks pretty level when in fact from the onset it's all incline until you get midpoint and then all down hill after that... but the incline is tough.

Anyway, upon finishing my 20min pilates routine I felt good and I wanted to look good as well. I applied a little make-up to my face and added some smell good to the body. I don't normally wear make-up but I guess it doesn't hurt either sometime. People actually noticed and said you look different and asked "did you do something to your hair"? lol... I just responded "thank-you" and "no". No need for detail I accepted the compliment.

I took a look in the ladies room mirror and I will say I exude happiness. It isn't the make-up I just look fresh and happy. I am wonderfully happy and growing in my journey. No more worries about anything.

I have my vision and it will happen how it happens and all the stuff in between isn't for me to worry about. I will be and feel happy all through the good and rough times. I'm retiring in a year and half. It's already being set-up because I'm ready to receive..

No stopping my happy! I exude it because it is within me to be happy. What is within will show outwardly. Always exude happiness even if you have to fake it. You may begin to actually feel it even in your worst moment. Happiness is contagious to those who want a little piece. But, for those who see the glass half empty thinking happy without proof is a task.

FRIDAY FREESTYLE

Life has a funny way of testing your strengths and weaknesses. Are we just made up of all the things life puts us through? Are we defined by our careers, our successes and failures? IS there a reward, a light at the end of the tunnel?

I have had a few things and people test my limits lately. I'm still persevering, I'm still strong and I'm still me.

I became frustrated and relieved in a matter of 2.2 secs in one day this week. The next day there was something else and again and again this week. I remained calm and prayerful throughout my frustrations. I wouldn't be taken to any other level. I tried to see the good (which isn't unusual in my thinking process)and stay positive if nothing else.

I fell asleep each night and awoke the next morning knowing that that day would be a better one then yesterday. I'm still happy and I'm still above ground. Any day above ground is a happy day.

I've made to Friday and things got better. I kept my communication lines open. I remained calm and at the end of this week all pieces came together thru faith and perseverance.

I wouldn't have had any other way. I'm used to being tested and I'm used of overcoming as well. I stopped saying long ago why me, when is it going to end? I learned why not me and it will end if I remain grounded and positive. Some situations are harder then others. It's equally as hard to not want to bitch slap some people that test and push you to edge.

I learned that my inner strength and balance is what unequivocally keeps me on top. I learned that it is okay to pat myself on the back, it's okay to exude my strength without pause and it's equally okay to be a little conceited. I've earned my conceit and bragging rights. I'm grown and a woman of a certain age. I've taken my licks of life. I haven't anything or anyone to be or feel competetive of at any time during my years. I allowed that spirit in my circle at one time. They fight to get back in, they wonder and assume why I could give less then a damn. I no longer am your people pleaser, your ear or sounding board. I have a circle that is now a diamond. A diamond with jewels wrapped around it in love and in spirit.

Friday love! Easter Blessings!

THE UNEXPECTED

Life has this uncanny way of throwing out curves or cliffs, hills and/or valleys if you will.

Life is good, things are smooth and then you encounter the unexpected. The unexpected could be pleasureable or bad. I'm not implying just because soemthing is unexpected that it is necessarily a bad thing.

How you respond to the unexpected is letting the universe know the course of action you may take, what you desire the end result to be in other words. Our inner workings. Your first thought is what you really desire to happen or feel. Our analytical side may take over and design a course of action to move toward our end result or the result that is desired or required.

When we over analyze sometime we create negativity or you may begin to doubt yourself. Discernment is key in life. We all should have learned at some point in our lives the mental ability to understand and the insight of good judgement. this happens as we mature and experience life. We grow and we hopefully make better choices and decisions. I said hopefully because some people never learn or are slow in their learning process! We each know someone or two that are stuck in the mud.

If you stay prepared then you will never have to get prepared for the unexpected. Quick thinking and a decisive course of action will keep things moving. You won't and haven't mentally made time to lose focus on your desired result. Planning is everything which is different then discernment of course. Planning goals and dreams are a wonderful necessity. If you should have to alter or redirect then you are prepared to make the necessary decision without getting off course of the goal or dream. Thus, you are always in preparation of the unexpected.

Things happen or shyt happens as they say. Are you prepared for that rainy day? Are you prepared for the cliffs, hills and or valleys. Are you prepared for the unforseen?

If you win lotto or come into a large sum of money is there a plan in place or a first course of action that will be taken? I know for a fact I will not want my picture in the paper. My top five will be the only people that will know my whereabouts. So if you are in the top five assume you will know where I am if not a pre-recorded message will be the only voice you hear.

We can't all be prepared for everything but we can learn how to respond better or we can not respond and let the universe take care of "what will be will be".

In the words of Snoop Dogg! Chuch!

un·ex·pect·ed Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[uhn-ik-spek-tid] –adjective not expected; unforeseen; surprising: an unexpected pleasure; an unexpected development.

Gratitude

I've had some revelations recently about a few things, people and places. I'm forever learning and growing. I'm just so grateful and thankful that I learn my lessons and learn from them.

I may not always respond accordingly but I am aware of the lesson in the experience. I may not agree with the lesson or the emotions that may be exposed but I am still grateful for the lesson.

I am happy. My life is happy and I'm making conscious decisions while here at the crossroads... I will go down my path and that path will lead me forward into my destiny. I see the vision and I accept all the good that will come. I am ready and I couldn't ever be more ready then I am at this point in my life.

I am grateful for the weird, interesting, baffling people places and things. I accept and I am grateful for the good, the great and the excellent people places and things.

There is a whole life out here to be grateful about.

Things are bad only if you see them that way!

grat·i·tude Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[grat-i-tood, -tyood]

–noun the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful: He expressed his gratitude to everyone on the staff.

When you just don't get it

Some people just don't get it. Selfish and self-absorbed. I think it's because you pretend to like me but you really don't. I know a hater that poses as a helper.

I have no idea why this person continues to call me. I don't call and I haven't initiated a call for weeks or months even.

I know they call because they miss my friendship. However, after you've abused my goodness and kind-heartedness so many times and still I had continued to associate with you. I can see how you might get things twisted and confused. So there is no more confusion let's be clear now as to where we stand.

How could you possibly think I give a damn? I don't care what you are up to, I don't care who you are with and I certainly don't care about any of your unimportant friends. I call associates once in a blue when I have the "oh" moment. Oh I wonder how they are doing, I might call. If I get around to it then I get around to it, if I don't get around to making that call then "oh well". lol

I help and care about people because it's my nature, I didn't have to be taught to be considerate or kind. Those things you can't get in a book they are innate behaviors. No one had to teach me "the secret". I know the secret and have known it since I was born to this earth in the flesh.

I've always had the unique ability to will things by putting them in the hands of my higher power. I don't worry about what someone has done to me, breaking up with someone or revenge on another individual. If I release you and put it in my higher powers hands I have no doubt all will be taken care of thru him.

I'm just throwing out random thoughts because someone called me this past weekend. I have repeatedly asked this person to not talk to me about someone and what this person is up to in their life. They continue to ask me about ex-boyfriends and ex-friends. They are exes' because we broke up , we don't talk.

So why do you continue the need to ask or talk about them? Are you trying to keep me in the past? I don't care. I guess when you have nothing to say you pull whatever you can to create conversation.

I have no interest in you, what you are doing or your "friends" at all at this time. I have released you. You are not considered a friend of mine but an associate. Please proceed accordingly. I can help you play your position in the manner more befitting of my associate standards. It seems as though you need help playing your position.

You are officially released. You and your silent jealous competitive ways and all that comes along with having known you over the years. I'm done and I now understand that I don't need you nor will I miss you. You proved to be a thorn in my side.

I am very comfortable with the people "on my end" my loved ones, the people I care about and the people I will miss should we part ways.

Anyway, oooooo saaaaaa. I love being in my skin, it's beautiful. The more you talk about me and think about me the better I become.

What's Good Within

There are things that are innate to all of us. You can have anything from musical talent or knowledge of good or evil.

If those congenital qualities are nutured and/or allowed to develop then you've got yourself a star provided they are good qualities.

You expose yourself or your child to all the comforts and all the activities so they will have options and choices. They or you can make an informed decision, have an intelligent conversation. You can decide what you have a passion for and move forward toward your goals.

Hopefully we don't make the mistake of confusing ourselves or our child by overloading them with options and choices. We allow things to play out until we are no longer interested if that should happen; or we allow things to play out and we develop a deeper passion or confirmation for what it is we love.

I am a helper. I am concerned about people in general. I know I can't save the world but I can offer suggestions or ideas. I am aware that I may not be able to help everyone and some don't want to be helped they are resistant. I know when to step back and not over step my bounderies.

I also know that helping doesn't always mean lending a hand it means lending an ear or sometime money. I can't help with the money part, but my ears are free for listening..lol I should charge for all the crap I've heard repeatedly thru my life, but that comment most likely is for the resistant.

In an earlier blog I mentioned "intuition" sometime you just see things coming that someone else may not see. Often times I don't say anything because I have been taught to keep quite let "me do me". Later on down the road karma comes into play for the other individual but I understand that we all have to take our own licks and learn our own lessons.

I am a person with a good heart. People with good hearts are naturally intuitive people that go thru their own sense of darkness over the course of their life. It makes them better and stronger depending on how they handle their lessons of life.

They are the humble, observers and it doesn't take much to please them.

These are the people that know and have faith in believing that things won't always be dark. A strong sense of knowing and faith. There is no light at the end of the tunnel there is only what you see yourself being and becoming.

These are my thoughts and they are more random then any other day. Who cares it's my blog.

Mediocrity

My weekend was pleasant in spite of a migraine. I went to visit a friend Friday. We had fun we watched TV, listened to music and played 9 ball in pool.

I won one game out of the two we played so that was good. We couldn't break the tie so we left it at that. Well, the reason we couldn't break the tie is because we were already in four patron shots followed by four Corona beers so another game just wasn't in the shot glass. haha

I woke up with a migraine/hangover. I had some other problems in the mix so that is why it turned into a horrible migraine. I had to get home and take something for it before I passed out from the pain.

I finally left my house to go to a baby shower well past the starting time of the shower but I made it for the celebration all the same. It seems that a lot of people were busy last spring/summer planting babies instead of flowers. lol

The daughter of a close friend of mine is pregnant. Good luck to the family! Anyway, I did want to attend the shower because she is a dear friend of mine and I made sure that I supported the friendship.

I almost let this friendship fade to black but we have stepped on new ground. With some people you can ask yourself "what value are they bringing to my life?" If you can't come up with a good answer that could only mean they are a parasite sucking you dry or just a mediocre friend and who wants either?

It may sound harsh but this is your life and you don't get to do it over again. So why allow others to just hang on for whatever reason? Just because?

Hang out with people that have a life, hang out with people that add to your life.


me·di·o·cre [mee-dee-oh-ker]

–adjective
1. of only ordinary or moderate quality; neither good nor bad; barely adequate.
2. rather poor or inferior.